Simple Accounting

American banks really should try using simple accounting to remedy their issues. It seems they’re too busy with whatever you want to call what it is they do, rather than accounting for the money and assets within their institution.

Case In Point:

21st Century bank statements don’t cover proper accounting, or what should be banking procedure. At least, procedure as defined for anyone who has completed basic high school accounting. As the high school student can tell you for your accounts to balance you need the following:

Receivables, this is a list of all deposits.

Payables, this is a list of all debits. Debits may be broken down into several categories, checks, transfers, fees, charges. The proper form is a list for each category.

Summary, this is a short list of the account showing previous balance, in, out and current balance.

You’d think with all the technology at their disposal, they’d include all pertinent information on the statement.

Today’s mail brought a bank statement which included a summary and a running balance.

Transaction History or Running Balance, this is a list of the in and out from the account. This is nice to include a running balance sheet but is not a statement of account.

This running balance is good to know if you tend to overextend yourself, but kiting checks puts you in danger of bouncing checks, getting charged mega-dollars in fees, not to mention bouncing checks is illegal.

The question that comes to mind: If this is the state of banking at this small level, imagine what a mess it is on a large scale…

What’s that you say? You’ve been reading the financial news headlines?… Well, then you already know…

Gouge and SyCophant: a tragic comedy

Monsieur Gouge and Sy Cophant, his clerk, were deep in conversation. Profits were down and Monsieur Gouge was not pleased with the return on his money.

Sy Cophant: But sir, the whole economy is slow. When the others use the consolidation formula pulling increased profit out for their stockholders, we see less earnings.

Monsieur Gouge: That’s no excuse Cophant! I want results. We must get results!

Sy Cophant: We could look at expenses again.

Monsieur Gouge: I knew you’d think of something. Read them.

Sy Cophant: Overhead: building, heat…

Monsieur Gouge: What can we lower?

Sy Cophant: The temperature. We’ll save on the heating bill this winter.

Monsieur Gouge: Your suggestion?

Sy Cophant: Well, research shows people usually slip their jackets off when they come into the store. I suggest we lower the temperature so they don’t have to remove their coats as they shop. That way, they’ll stay comfortable while shopping.

Monsieur Gouge: Very considerate. How much? How much?

Sy Cophant: The estimates show a 10 – 20% savings on the heating bill depending on the difference between the outdoor and indoor temperatures.

Monsieur Gouge: Excellent! Make it 30%! What’s next?

Sy Cophant: There are the employees, sir.

Monsieur Gouge: They always cost so much. What about them?

Sy Cophant: That’s the trouble sir, they’ll stop being customers if they don’t have jobs.

Monsieur Gouge: How many times have I told you, Cophant? The employees just cost money! They aren’t customers. The customers shop. The employees cost. When will you get that straight?!

Sy Cophant: Sorry, sir. You’re right, sir.

Monsieur Gouge: Lower the wages.

Sy Cophant: Lower the wages?

Monsieur Gouge: Yes, lower the wages. Except yours, Cophant, you get a big bonus because you do as I ask.

Sy Cophant: Thank you, sir.

Monsieur Gouge: How much?

Sy Cophant: Well, they’re already at minimum wage, sir.

Monsieur Gouge: Damn government. This is the government’s fault. So, what do we do?

Sy Cophant: We can lay-off staff.

Monsieur Gouge: Yes, lay them off.

Sy Cophant: Who exactly?

Monsieur Gouge: How much is payroll?

Sy Cophant leans over toward Monsieur Gouge holding the papers at an angle, points to a number on the balance sheet.

Monsieur Gouge: What? That much?

Sy Cophant: Employee wages are down 30% from 10 years ago.

Monsieur Gouge: All of them.

Sy Cophant: All of them?

Monsieur Gouge: Yes. I want that money. Stop paying everyone. Except you, Cophant, you can have another bonus. You are so useful.

Sy Cophant: Thank you, sir. I appreciate that, sir. But sir, the customers?

Monsieur Gouge: Sometimes, I don’t know about you, Cophant! You seem so smart and then you ask the dumbest questions. Haven’t you heard about self-serve?

Sy Cophant: It will be done.

Monsieur Gouge: So, how do we increase sales? Get more customers? Do you think I should Twitter?

Wind In Her Hair

When she was in 6th grade, there was a race. It was the first time in the history of that school that boys and girls ran together. The coach was thrilled when girls signed up to run. With the preliminary races complete, it allowed him to show the demographics and how entirely equitable the program had become. It meant more money for the school and more money for himself.

The last race came, four runners: three boys and a girl. The boys complained to the coach. They didn’t want to run against her. They didn’t want to hurt her feelings. They were boys. Of course, they were going to win.

The girl was happy when she ran. She felt free. She felt good. She laughed as the air pushed her hair out behind her. Running was joy.

Line up: lane 1 boy, lane 2 boy, lane 3 girl, lane 4 boy.

Ready, Set, Go…

The fastest boy, the one they knew would win was in Lane 1, on the end. But who would be 2nd, 3rd & 4th?

The girl was next out of the gate and holding her own. Until the boy in lane 4 pulled on the girl’s shirt, then the boy in lane 2 pulled on it too. The boy in lane 2 kicked her in the calf. She slowed for a second. The boy in lane 4 put his arm out to hold her back.

The coach yelled, 1st Place, Lane 1. 2nd Place, Lane 4. 3rd Place, Lane 3. 4th Place, Lane 2. The boys all gave each other the high-five.

The girl looked at the coach. “That’s not right.”

“That’s just the way it is,” he said.

The boys laughed. They thought they had won. Culturally, perhaps, but in the larger scheme of things, they were the big losers.

Until the boys make amends, she decided to not run with them again. At any time she could run with them. But until the time when they make it right, she runs for herself. She’s free and she loves the feel of the wind in her hair.

Natural Consequence Versus Punishment

As human beings, we are a part of the natural world even though some egos would like to say that we’re better than or apart from Nature. Human beings are subject to all the same laws as all other creatures, natural consequences included.

Natural consequences are those things that can’t be helped. They are scientific and subject to the same results if Jack does the experiment or if Jill does the experiment.

An experiment with gravity:
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

Fall at the top of a hill + gravity = Find yourself at the bottom of the hill.
Natural consequence.

Punishment is entirely a different situation. Punishment is not the natural consequence of actions. Punishment does not come from any natural law.

We can see the difference between Natural Consequence versus Punishment in this example:

If a dog failed to finish all the food, the natural consequences might be:
a) another animal might finish the food
b) carrion birds or flies would finish the food
c) the food would rot

If a child failed to clean their plate of all food provided, the natural consequence might be:
a) another person might finish the food
b) the food might go bad
c) an animal might finish the food
d) the food might be thrown away

Not a natural consequence might be one or more of the following:
e) forced to finish the food anyway
f) denied food at another time
g) spanked
h) grounded

Parental authority allows for punishment of children, but don’t let that be misconstrued with anything like the natural consequences of actions.

Threaten a dog, beat a dog, or tease a dog, and the dog will bite.
Natural consequence.

Punishment is simply the choice of the authority/punisher to inflict their will on someone under their authority. When they say to the punished, ‘it’s a natural consequence of your behavior'; the authority seeks to avoid the responsibility for their actions. Avoiding responsibility may go unpunished, but there are always natural consequences.

Customers, please don't bother us!

Mr. Franklin, my boss would get upset if the phone wasn’t answered by the second ring. Why? The customer was important to Mr. Franklin. Without the customers he wouldn’t be in business. The cultural standard for companies was to have the best customer service possible. A company wanted the best customer service because they wanted to have more customers and happy customers were good customers, loyal customers. So way back then, I answered the phone quickly and courteously because I didn’t want to disappoint my boss or the customer.

If the occasion happened when I didn’t have an immediate answer for the customer or another company employee was required and on another line, the customer was asked if they preferred to a) leave a message, or b) could hold for a short time. If they said they would like to hold, we were to notify the company person/department that they had a call waiting. At first, it was by note, then we upgraded to a flashing button on the phone. The idea was for the customer to be the least inconvenienced as possible. Why? Because we wanted to serve the customer, so they would be our customer.

By the attitude (and time on hold), today’s company couldn’t care less which company you use, or what services you have with them.

Case in point, I want to add to my service, don’t have to, just want to. Before I decide how much service to add, I’d like to know my options, the cost, you know, the details, the fine print. So, I called. The first thing the recording announces: Go to www.we.don’t.talk.to.customers.com to find your own answers or hold for 10 minutes.

I opt for both. I hold the line and turn on my computer.

The website isn’t intuitive but I navigate to the service area which provides only general information and a shopping cart. I click on all the links to hidden information to find some additional charges but still not all the answers to my questions.

After 20 minutes, Mark answers the phone.

Customer Service: “Hi I’m Mark. How can I make you very pleased with our service?”

I laugh: “Mark, at this point VERY pleased isn’t even on the scale. I’ve been on hold 20 minutes. But if you could answer some questions I have about…”I continued to explain what I wanted, that the website offered only general information, I needed answers to my questions before adding to my service.

Mark was very pleasant and said: “Let me see if I can get that information for you. Would you mind holding while I get that information?”

“Okay, I’ll wait a minute.”

Ten minutes later. “Hi this is Veronica, I’m sorry but your account isn’t showing on my screen.”

Back to square one.

Veronica answered the questions and was in the process of filling the shopping cart attached to my account.

“No. I don’t want to add the service unless you can attach it to my current plan.”

“But it doesn’t make a difference.”

“Yes it does. I want everything all on the same contract.”

“But you have different dates now.”

“No, my contracts are all together.”

“On your account, it shows… you’re a very long time customer… oh… they are on the same date. Why is that?”

“Because, if I’m not happy… I can decide not to renew my contract, all on the same day.”

“Really? Wow…So can I add the service?”

“Unless you can add it to the current contract, I’ll just wait.”

“You won’t have to wait and it will only be a $175.00 fee to cancel if you don’t renew your other contract.”

“Yes I know.”

“So I can add the service?”

“No, because I don’t want to have the fees attached to different dates.”

“No one ever asks about that.”

“It seems so.”

“On a scale of 1-5, 5 being best, how would you rate my service on this call.”

“I didn’t really get any service, but I was on hold for more than 30 minutes before you answered some of my questions.”

“I’m sorry.”

Bottom line:Cost to this company because they were unable to provide the additional service without penalty fees: $100. Plus I’ve gone from not thrilled, to unhappy with their attitude toward me, their customer.

But what’s $100. times how ever many other customers get frustrated?

My old boss, Mr. Franklin would have been angry if any of his customers were treated with such distain. He would have fired the offender and personally called the customer and made sure they were pleased with the service, his personal attention, and probably thrown in a little extra to make up for the trouble.

Don’t fret over me. I’m not holding my breath until a supervisor calls to make sure this long time customer is a happy customer. They won’t be making more money off me for additional services I want because they’ve made it too aggravating to add it. It affects their bottom line every day, but they really don’t care so long as customers don’t inconvenience them.

Mother's Day 2008

For Mother’s Day 2008 to meet expectations it must reach an estimated spending spree of $3.8 billion. This breaks down, according to IBIS World, in the following way: $2.6 billion on flowers, $1.53 billion on pampering gifts, and $68 million on greeting cards. Notably, 7.8% of jewelry sales are attributed to Mother’s Day gifts.

Greeting card holidays always seemed, well, commercial. Instead, it seems that a tribute paid to honorable people, or ideals might be better served in thoughtful deed at a more logical or appropriate time.

The purpose of the acknowledged origins of Mother’s Day are many. Several cultures site the observance of Goddess manifestation in Mother Goddess or Earth Goddess.

Clearly, the moment of birth or beginning gave the ancient ones pause. The act of becoming Mother in ancient times, as today is an journey of transfiguration for the woman into Mother and the Child into existence. While an occurrence happening everyday, each event is one that should be observed with awe and wonder.

Later, as in the American tradition, the women who sought to call a particular day, Mother’s Day had another agenda, most notably, anti-war or pro-sanitation stances for the American population. These women hoped to find within other women the force of will to make our society less violent and more caring, as a Mother might seek these conditions for her children, so should society seek to make better the conditions of each citizen.

It seems logical that most Mothers would be for Peace, yet, War Continues around the world. It seems that the world would have made headway in some way with “Mothers Against” name your type of pain & suffering, as it shows itself in Lack of Care, Lack of Funding, Lack of Love, yet we find reports of suffering in the daily paper as well as down the street, perhaps, next door.

It was my desire that my children not observe these quirky cultural days in relation to me. Should they desire to do so otherwise with their offspring, that is a choice they will make.

The experiment seems to be successful as we went about our business in much the same way as we do everyday. In much contrast to the day becoming hectic with additional obligations of a “nice dinner out”, our regular simple faire is quite acceptable.

Time is the gift I received with a bit more sleep in the morning, calm throughout the day, a chance to regroup before another busy week and meditation in the sun on this lovely Mother’s Day.