Wednesday, October 28, 2009



Seeking a Monarch who could and would utilize honest, hardworking, loyal, talented vassal. Offering includes all skills, previous training and continued training (if required), ideas, thoughts, inherited talents, and undying gratitude in exchange for a good productive life. Details negotiable, warm climate preferred. Please e-mail introduction and preliminary information.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Thinking Halloween Thoughts

Captain Jack Sparrow continues to inspire people, especially young people, around the world to be a pirate... for Halloween, that is.

Some of the store bought costumes are quite amazing. The designers and manufacturers are increasingly imaginative. But I prefer to make my own. The best part of getting dressed up is putting the costume together.

Pirate costumes are particularly fun and cheap. Most people can put a pirate costume together from one or two closets with a minimal number of purchases. My pirate challenge this year was to outfit four pirates. We've got the crew thing going...

As Lady Captain it's my job to be stunning because I won't be the tallest but I must command attention! I'll be topping my outfit with a satin oriental jacket and some Aztec Gold.

The crew will be dressed according to their rank and value to the ship. All have similar striped pieces: socks or arm warmers, it's the only identifiable part of the gear that shows we're together. We'll be dressed in high-pirate fashion because there be a North wind a-blowin' here matey.

Sing "Yo-Ho" as you hunt through your clothes. Look at things sideways with a Jack Sparrow kind of sway. Remember these guys were interested in wearing top quality and yet, they wore it for long periods of time.

Pirates wore most or all of their jewelry. Why? Well, would you leave your valuables around a bunch of pirates? They were pirates, not stupid. So wear rings on all your fingers, several necklaces, pins, earrings, feathers, and hats.

Halloween is a night when flamboyant is good and being a flamboyant pirate is outstanding!

Read more about pirates:

Read more about on of my favourite pirates:

Read more about women pirates:

Read about talking like a pirate:

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Adult Noun Deficiency

It’s another symptom of adult attention deficit disorder, thought studder, or whatever you want to call it that happens with frequency when stress, distraction or overload is the mode of the day. It would be most annoying if I didn’t usually find it absolutely funny.

The phone call

Store Clerk: May I help you?

Me: Yes, well, I hope so… I’m looking for the, the…

Clerk: um

Me: Sorry, I’m having a moment, I can’t think of what it’s called…

Clerk: Okay

Me: It’s the stuff that’s under the deck that catches the water that drains off decks, do you know what I mean?

Clerk: Yes.

Me: Do you have some?

Clerk: It’s in stock.

Me: Great, how much is it?

Clerk: um… What’s it called?

Me: I don’t know.

Clerk: It’s over by the corrugated roofing supplies.

Me: Okay… Can you look it up?

Clerk: I need the name.

Me: Yes, me too. That’s why I called.

Clerk: Can you hold on? I can go look.

Me: Sure, I’ll hold.

Musical Interlude

Clerk: Hi, Are you there?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: It’s Deck Drain.

Me: Laugh

Clerk: Laugh

He continued and gave me the size and price information.

Me: Thanks

Clerk: No problem.

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Sage of Chocolate Chip Cookies

Do you remember mom’s chocolate chip cookies? Do you bake the cookies your mom used to bake?

Fortunately or unfortunately, rarely did my mother bake cookies. It was usually an event: PTA, Troop activity, Church event, something like that, so that even when baked, the cookies weren’t meant, nor did the cookies remain within the household… In our house it was about store bought cookies. Which was okay, I’m not complaining. I’m sure the stock in Oreo went up during my adolescent years.

Like the rebellious daughter I was told I was, I don’t buy many cookies from the store (sorry, Oreo). I actually bake cookies for my teenagers who consume them wholeheartedly. I’ve never had to worry about preservatives, nothing freshly bakes lasts long enough that it’s an issue. What I find myself concerned about is a variety of recipes, what kind of chocolate chip cookies shall I bake?

I admit to slothful baking, I use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag. I’ve used the recipe so often over the last 20 years that it’s nearly memorized. But since I’m not chocolate chip brand loyal, there are slight variation, which leads me back to the bag because sometimes it’s ½ cup sugar and sometimes it’s ¾ cup sugar. All these recipes are brand approved and honestly, my kids love them.

But I got a bee in my bonnet and thought I’d make something new… Something new involved opening my favorite search engine, typing in "chocolate chip cookie recipe" and the response selection was overwhelming. Have you been to some of these recipe sites? They’re amazing.

Take for example… over 200 chocolate chip cookies recipes: Chocolate Chip Cookies III, Macadamia Nut Chocolate Chip Cookies, Urban Legend Chocolate Chip Cookies, Wilderness Place Lodge Cookies, Outrageous Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Bacon Cookies, Chocolaty Peanuty Pretzel Bar Cookies, Peanut Butter Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk Cookies, Anna’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, The Best Chocolate Chip Cookie, The Absolute Best Chocolate Chip Cookie, Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie, Mom’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, Trisha’s Chocolate Chip Cookie, Betty’s Chocolate Chip Cookie, Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookie, and so on…

Once I started reading recipes, I couldn’t stop… two hours later, overwhelmed and with tired eyes, I decided… the recipe today will be… the one on the back of the package. Old habits die hard and I know the kids will like ‘em.