Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Revolt, uprising, insurgence, upheaval, mutiny, revolution, by any other name it’s still rebellion. For the most part, it doesn’t exist within my home. My spouse, my children and I pretty much get along, with disagreements, sure, but rebellion, no.
We, the parents haven’t created the environment from which our children wish to rebel. The dynamic has created an ever changing and interesting experiment in human development.
Old thoughts: As a youth growing up in a difficult household, I rebelled. While everyone said they were surprised, no one was surprised, there would have been something wrong if I hadn’t rebelled. The dynamics created in that house were of conflict, argument/debate, picking on and putting down. Rebellion was mentally healthy. How it all rolled out, maybe not so healthy. But I've done the work to put it in perspective and correct my errors.
New thoughts: When our three were little. I remember looking at each of them and thinking, I don’t want my children to have all that conflict in their lives that I had growing up. Then I had a thought: wouldn’t it be nice if we had a house where we got along, where we have love and mutual respect.
Matching my actions with my desired goal has provided a space for our kids to be kids without conflict. As young adults, they have a home that is not a battleground, so there is no reason to rebel.