Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Oil Company Spokesperson Recommends Walking

News Flash

In an unprecedented move today, Oil Companies collectively agree that walking is a preferred mode of transportation for most citizens. The loosely associated collective of behemoth companies have agreed to price their commodity completely out of the reach of most citizens sending the recent statical trend of increased reserve and reduced consumption to spike drastically.

While getting to work may be a problem for most people, an oil company spokesperson said, off-the-record, “our people aren’t really the concerned with the general population or the economy. Quarterly profits will be up and people will have to figure out how to pay or walk.”

When asked if this won’t adversely affect the company in the long term, the anonymous spokesperson said, “The point of raising prices is more profit now. It should be evident; we have no long term plan.”

Back to you in the studio…

No comments: