Sunday, August 17, 2008

Shopping / Hunting, Same Difference

Elizabeth Montgomery popped onto the TV screen and announced Bewitched was coming next…in color… She was a fabulous actress and beautiful woman. The Bewitched Show wasn’t amongst the best material to showcase her talent but it certainly entertained many people through the years.

One black & white episode comes to mind when Mother and Samantha go shopping at a department store. Samantha explains to Mother that the object of shopping was to find lovely items on sale. She tells Mother that it’s really kind of fun.

Today at Kohl’s, the sale racks started at 40% off, the height of savings the 70% off. The hunt is on…. with the sale flyer and coupon 30% off, it was clearly time to shop.

Shopping is always such an experience. Often reminiscent of the world in which I grew up, I can’t help but note how far manners and general decorum has fallen… and frankly, it doesn’t matter to me if it’s the style for everyone’s flab to hang-out all over… at 200 pounds, honey, the small sizes just aren’t going to fit! What happened to the cry for self-respect? Oh yes, and adding perfume does not take the place of a bath…. Really!

Fun as it is, judging the other women in the store, wasn’t my mission… it was the item of most savings, I sought.

The 70% off rack is usually pretty sad. It’s full of horrible prints that even a bag lady wouldn’t wear. Makes you wonder about clothing designers and store buyers doesn’t it? But every once in a while, there’s an out-of-season item that makes its way to the rack. These are the items of “I bought it on sale” legend.

A practiced shopper can flip through a rack with the force of purpose, but you must have knowledge of several things before you get up to speed. You must know a) your size, b) your colors, c) a good deal versus cheap crap… Armed with this information you too are ready to Flick, flick, flick… Too ugly, Too big… Oh My Gawd…. Flick, flick, as the hangers scrape along the metal rod…

And then, there it was between the flower print and the baby vomit color jacket… a purple sweater… before we go any farther let’s go through the process, because let’s face it, many items on the sale rack are missing buttons or ripped and really should be removed from the store but management or a lazy clerk fails to remove them and the unwary shopper may purchase a defective garment. And a defective garment is not a deal. So, we need to check, everything.

Pulling the hanger from the rack, the arms appear the same length… since it’s a sweater is it stretched out in some odd way… no… check the inside of the collar for wear (is it a returned item?)… no… At this point, the excitement starts to build… check the seams… looking good and then the moment of Truth… does it fit? YES!

Starting at $44.00, marked down, down, down to $7.20… then subtract the 30% coupon… -.72 x 3 = 2.16 …. 7.20 – 2.16 = $4.04 TRIUMPH… less than 10% on a great purple sweater! Granted it’s August and I probably won’t wear it until late September or October… But I’m okay with waiting for the big day.

The Shopping Huntress Applauds…

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